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Things are never fucking easy

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Jun. 22nd, 2008 | 10:59 pm

So Geoff came in town for the first time since he left, and I didn't even get to see him. He decides to tell Ashleigh when he is coming in and not me, and then he comes and doesn't even make a real attempt to hang out with me. It's beyond annoying at this part, and I'm trying to convince myself that he never meant that much to me in the first place. However, despite the asshole showing his face in my hometown, this weekend was quite eventful. I discovered that cute men drive trucks and are named Mitch, and are really attracted to my drunk self hanging out the window; long story short, that is basically how I got his phone number and my love for him. Furthermore, yesterday I went to the hookah lounge and called up my old crush Nick Brown. We hung out and talked about almost everything that night, and we both know that we sparked something between us back up. But I am always more skeptical than everyone else about relighting an old flame. Nothing is ever as good as the first; maybe we just needed some time apart to grow as people, and now we are not even the same people but have the same love, and so everything might be okay. Tonight was really good as well, despite having to be home so early in order to pack for San Antonio tomorrow - which is not going so great. But Brandon, Ashleigh's (i guess you could could say) crush called me and told me to come over to his house. It was just Brandon, my good friends Austin and Zach, his friend Nathan, Zach's girlfriend and myself sitting outside smoking and drinking. It could not have been more chill nor more fun if it tried. And I think I may be trying to play with fire because I think feelings for Brandon might be arising and my love for Austin has not yet died down.

Some people live in a state trying to find just someone to listen to them, love them, kiss them. But when a person has several people to love and hold close to their heart, it might be just as difficult as having no one.

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